How many flowers must be picked for a man to learn how to tend to his own garden…

Today I woke up feeling the pain in the hearts of women.

As I look into the eyes of young girls, I wonder how this became normal.

I see it in the knowing eyes of my elders.
How frequent the sting of being taken from. 

My sister is beautiful…
She has a hole in her heart.
It feels like a large thorn inside of her chest.
Where does this come from?

My sister is beautiful…
She is a mother of two boys.
Their father leaves them for a bottle.
Where does this come from?

My sister is beautiful…
She breathes love.
Somehow She is not enough.
Where does this come from?

My Mother is beautiful…
She carries within her great oceans.
She gives all life.
She is sick.
Her children are sick.
Where does this come from?

How many flowers must be picked for a man to learn how to tend to his own garden…

Let… Go…


Letting go signifies an ending of a relationship, which from my experience is a lot easier said than done. Whether it’s a career, a romantic partnership or releasing a disharmonious pattern of self-talk, endings can be hard and in certain situations the process can surprisingly last longer than expected.

Over the past year I’ve embarked on a path of Self-discovery. It has been a deep journey, requiring me to sit down and take a hard look in the mirror of every aspect of my life. It has been and continues to be a process of purification and identification; clearing space in both my external and internal environments, to better honor myself and cultivate what truly brings me happiness.

Over the course of the last year, I left a corporate career, ended a romantic relationship and moved twice. Through this process I’ve become cognizant of how much the relationships I was holding on to, that were not aligned with my truth, affected my entire being.

This became really clear to me recently when I made the decision to finally let go of a friendship that was doing me more harm than good. I meditated and felt into the energy of this person’s effect on my life, when I did I felt the area around my heart tighten, constricting my flow of energy. At that time I wondered how long I was carrying this holding pattern and how this situation reflected other areas in my life that provoked a similar reaction.

Dr. Anodea Judith describes in her book Eastern Body, Western Mind that “…our chronic holding patterns can become body armour. This bio-energetic term describes types of coping strategies and their chronic holding patterns locked in the posture and tissues of the body… Our ways of coping become defenses that get “hard-wired” into the system as it develops, beyond conscious awareness.”

Becoming conscious of such a telling holding pattern around my heart and with respect to the words of Dr. Judith, I came to recognize that the release of this relationship signified something much deeper. I was letting go of the remnants of an old way of being. A way of being that did not honor my Self.

After some deep thought I decided to let go of the friendship amicably. Soon after I felt a huge relief in my Spirit. A cloud of heaviness lifted and I felt open to receive what was truly aligned with the authenticity of my own heart.

It felt right.

For many we are living in a potent time of transition. Amidst all this change, it’s important to remember that the process of letting go is very much a path of deepening trust with yourself. Our ability to discern what is aligned with our highest good gives us a better understanding of who we really are.

As you let go it is good practice to give gratitude for the teachings of what this person, place or situation has taught you… big or small. I’ve found that the most trying relationships we encounter in life tend to be our greatest teachers.

In the words of Dr. Saida Desilets “Life is a rhythm of beginnings and endings, one flowing into the other in a constant cycle/recycle pattern. Becoming aware of this and knowing how to work with this truth can be very liberating and healing.”

Our ability to feel is one of the many gifts we encounter in this human experience. So remember to find gratitude and compassion where you can.

Also… it doesn’t hurt to enjoy the journey ;). 


The Heart Connection


The first time I became conscious of my heart opening was about three years ago after a break up. This was not my first encounter of love lost, however, it was the first time I felt the healing effects of the work I was doing within.

As a back-story, I was in a long -term relationship with a wonderful man.  I have nothing bad to say about him, he made me feel beautiful and loved every day. Although, due to poor timing and an age difference, our relationship ended.  We were living together at the time, so the day we broke up I had packed my things and decided to find refuge at friends house. Over the course of the next month, I spent my time couch surfing, getting through my day job and devoting as much time to my yoga mat as possible.

This period of my life was tough.  To be clear, the couch surfing was pretty awesome. Moving from place to place, I was held by the love and compassion of dear friends. I truly felt the kindness and hearts from the people in my life. However, no break up is easy and I was having a hard time. I went through second thoughts, regret, many tears and a heavy heart.

About six months prior I had studied under an influential meditation teacher. One of the biggest lessons she taught me was that emotions were not something to get attached to. Emotions were to be given a safe space to be processed and felt. She explained that emotions were like a storm in the ocean. Similar to a storm, the emotion will pass, calm and eventually the waves will smooth.

After some time, I applied it to my experience.  First, I became very aware of my distractions, which were the things or activities keeping me from feeling my heart. Playing the dating field, constantly going out or being surrounded by others, work, staying “busy”….  I will admit, I had fun, but at the end of the day, they were all helping to keep me numb to what I didn’t want to face… vulnerability.

Healing the unseen can be tricky. Say you have a cut on your hand. You see it bleed, you clean it up and put on a band-aid. Over time you tend to it, watch it heal and grow new skin. However, what is it that we do to consciously tend to the healing of the emotional body? I mean, it is something everyone encounters in life. Not only in romantic relationships, but with our jobs, national events, families, friends…

The repercussions of placing this to the side can sink deep into our unconscious, potentially keeping us from opportunity or the ability to give and receive love. For me, it created resistance, distrust and fear. It wasn’t until I felt my emotions and passed through the fear of vulnerability did I start to feel my heart open.

I did the work, honoring the emotion and giving myself the permission to feel.

I remember exactly where I was when I felt the healing from this work. It was about two months after the break up. I was in yoga; the class was filled with heart opening poses and deep pranayama (breath work), with the peak pose being urdhva dhanurasana or wheel pose. I fully surrendered into this pose, breathing into my heart… It began to feel warm, light and then it started to open…. Whoa. It had to be one of the coolest things I’ve ever experienced. I never knew I could have this kind of physical connection with my heart. I felt this tingly sensation move from my heart and into my entire body.

Since then, it has been the first of many heart-opening experiences I’ve been conscious of. Both on and off my yoga mat. In fact, that whole period of my life is one of the reasons why I am so passionate about the work I do. It has been the inspiration of the practice I share as a teacher. Connecting people to their hearts is my work, because it has had and continues to make such a strong positive impact on my life.

I still deal with bouts of fear when it comes to feeling vulnerable, but I will say I’ve become a friend to vulnerability in the best of ways and I couldn’t be happier.

Working with your heart is not always easy. Although, from my experience it is the most rewarding relationship you could ever have.

When we simply allow ourselves to fully feel our feelings as they come, we tend to let them go easily.

This is all we are required to do; our feelings simply want to be felt.

The deeper purpose of our feelings is to transform the terrain of our inner world, sometimes creating space for more feelings to flow, sometimes providing sustenance for growth…

All we need to do is allow the process by relaxing, opening, and receiving the bounty of our emotions.” – DailyOm


Creating a positive relationship with fear

Fear is something that can meet us in so many different ways. It can feel like a lump in your throat you quickly want to swallow down. It could bring discomfort to your belly, trigger feelings of distrust and resistance or even make you dim the light you shine into world in order to hide.

The fear I am referring to is the type of fear that calls you to look inward. It can be unsettling, as it threatens the comforts in life, such as your relationships or that safe job. However, I have come to understand that fear is a symptom which precedes change.

I chose the topic of fear because it has been such a transformational teacher in my life. Through the self awareness I’ve grown into and continue to build, I have been able to develop a secure relationship with fear. I have learned that fear is a reflection of how I listen and accept opportunities in my life.

I will admit that I had a hard time writing about this topic. I had fears of my own and just couldn’t figure out the “right way” to articulate a positive relationship with fear. At that point, I decided to place it aside and listen.

During that time I was given an incredible invitation for an amazing opportunity. It was an opportunity that I had been craving, one that would challenge me and allow me to step into the direction I wanted to go in. However, when I was offered this gift, my body instantaneously froze and the thought came to my mind “what if I’m not ready.”

The dear friend who offered me this gift brought to my attention that my response to this opportunity was a reflection to the responses I have in other areas of my life. For me, it mirrored the question “was I deserving?”.

How about that for some truth.

Taking in this experience and remembering the stories that have been shared with me, I acknowledged that fear comes in many forms, of which we all encounter. Fear of rejection, fear of giving and receiving love, fear of acknowledging your greatness, trust… what ever the shape, it is something we share.

Fear is healthy. It is a tool that can shed light on the level of trust you have with yourself. It is a gift that can help you transform… if you allow it.

I invite you take a look at your fear. Try to do this when you feel it. Check in. See how your physical body is responding, acknowledge what your mind is saying and ask yourself how this response relates to other areas of your life. Where else do you feel a similar physical response? Are you holding yourself back? What can you learn from fear?

It can be hard process. Although, it helps to recognize that life is a journey. Acknowledge your destination and stay focused. As you grow, this destination may change, but try to stay present and trust. Embrace your communities and most importantly… yourself.